The Taj Mahal – that world famous monument that hosts tens of millions of people every year. “The jewel of Muslim art in India and one of the universally admired masterpieces of the world’s heritage“, according to UNESCO. The near-universal symbol of love & affection that has been romanticised in countless tales for over five centuries now. Oh so pretty and vain that it has 4 minarets guarding it 24×7! We hear you scream at us, “You have got to be kidding! How can you use anything short of superlatives for the mother of all monuments, leave alone discouraging people from going there?” We get it.
Allow us to tell you why. Here are four reasons why you shouldn’t visit the Taj Mahal. You can thank us later.
Reason 1: Inferiority complex for your laundering skills
The Taj Mahal is white, and whiter when you stare at it. We cannot imagine you planning a visit one fine Saturday morning, dressed in neatly washed and pressed white clothes only to be overwhelmed (and frankly, insulted) by this edifice staring at you mockingly. Even on a #BadClothesDay for the Taj Mahal, its impeccable façade will out-white you.
Reason 2: Zero Insta-worthiness
The Taj Mahal attracts around 8 million tourists annually, the last we checked. That is over 2000 people per hour fighting for the same hotspots, craving for a perfect selfie, dying for that elusive portrait shot. We know that some professional Instagrammers can magically edit people out from their pictures, but 2000 pesky mortals are still too much to handle. What good is a monument when it can’t make it to your spotless Instagram feed!
Reason 3: Monument of Love, eh?
Allow us to indulge in some mathematical reasoning. We’ve all heard that the Taj Mahal is undoubtedly the ‘Monument of Love’. Most of us have also heard that ‘Love is blind’. In such a situation, would you really fancy blind architects to oversee a monument from design to completion? We think not – the results are sure to be grotesque.
Reason 4: Be like Diljit & Ivanka
The Photoshop geniuses, the ultimate marketers – Meet Diljit Dosanjh and Ivanka Trump, who were able to conjure this grand masterpiece. Why spend on a vacation when you can do a Photoshop course on Coursera? We don’t think words can do justice here.
We kid, we kid… The Taj Mahal is closed, as we speak.